DI Ch 191

But it’s strange. I just fixed his hair, so why is it like this again? I did my best to restore his messy hair to its original state.

“Sometimes I want to open your head. What’s missing in there that makes you say things like that?”

“That’s an insult, you know.”

“Why would I insult you?”

“But you are.”

Sometimes even with his expressions. I stayed focused, not letting my gaze stray from my fingers as I fussed over his hair. Even though I put in a lot of effort and we had a long walk back giving me plenty of time to fix it, it still looked a bit messy. Feeling disappointed, I kept fidgeting with it. Suddenly, I felt strength in my knees.

“Hyung, wait a moment…”

He stopped abruptly, somehow hearing my quiet mumble. I lowered my head while holding onto his strong shoulders. My feet, thick with two layers of socks, were motionless and showed no signs of movement. Yet I felt like I could walk, I had that feeling…

“What? What’s wrong?”

“No, it’s my legs.”

“Legs? What about them?”

“…”

“Are they hurting? Say something.”

I was so preoccupied, that I couldn’t respond and just stared at my immobile legs. He quickly lowered his posture, urgently examining me. Only then did I realize I had forgotten I was on his back, dangling in the air and barely hanging on as I inspected my legs. I wasn’t even hanging on; he was practically holding me up.

“I thought I could move them, but I guess not.”

I belatedly came to my senses and mumbled before closing my mouth again. In the ensuing silence, I hugged his shoulders tightly once more. I expected him to comfort me with his habitual hopeful words, but he didn’t say anything about getting better soon or recovering quickly. He just stood up silently.

Feeling sorry for ruining the good mood in an instant, I pressed my lips to his ear and pulled back, when raindrops fell lightly like flower petals on my eyelids. It was spring rain. We went inside before getting caught in more drops. Just like when we came out, we had to open several doors to find the room. I was amazed at how he found the room without hesitation, but I didn’t show it.

It was clear that the maze-like corners were intentionally designed to make people lose their way when the house was built. Whatever the reason, the soundproofing was excellent; once inside, the sound of rain was completely cut off, making it impossible to tell if it was still raining outside.

“Lift your head.”

As soon as Tae Seong-je sat me on the bed, he carefully dried my hair with a soft towel. It wasn’t soaked through, so just removing the moisture should have been enough, but he even wiped my dry cheeks. His actions were a bit rough, chasing away any sleepiness despite the late hour, and I didn’t even yawn.

Ignoring his effort to bring the pillow closer, I crawled onto his thigh and laid my head there. By now, he would normally tell me to sleep, but seeing him not forcing me to do so made my heart ache. Far from pushing me away for using his leg as a pillow, he was busy stroking my forehead and cheeks. I silently watched him before raising my hand. His pale cheeks were cold.

“Hyung.”

“What?”

“I’m glad to see you again.”

Is being glad enough? I’m grateful to be alive and overjoyed that my unchanged feelings are still intact. So I wished he wouldn’t be anxious about my silence or read too much into my small actions. I really meant it. That’s why I spoke sincerely to him as he gently stroked my hair instead of answering.

“Really, very much.”

“…I’m glad too.”

He sighed languidly, he rubbed his cheek against my hand and soon kissed it. I felt his rough lips on my palm. However, his gaze never left my arm. He seemed to want to put the IV back in. We don’t need to do that anymore.

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. As the distance closed, I hesitated for a moment, I teased by lightly biting and pulling away from his lips repeatedly until he caught my head in one swift move. Eagerly pressing our lips together, I sucked on his lips as if wanting them to soften.

His hands were large and rough enough to cup my jaw and neck, but they were incomparably gentle. I really loved this. Rubbing my lips against his, biting each other’s tongues, and exchanging sultry glances as we looked at each other.

We looked at each other as we carefully intertwined our t0ngues. We teased each other anxiously, licking and gently sucking each other’s lips.  It felt like a game to see who would give in first. The endless friction produced wet sounds that sounded lewd.

Swallowing the saliva pooled in my mouth, I pushed against his shoulders, causing him to fall back, and climbed onto his stomach. A thrilling excitement enveloped me. Just the other day, it felt like I was only being rejected and pushed away by the 24-year-old Tae Seong-je there, but now here is the 29-year-old Tae Seong-je who yields helplessly at my slightest pull.

Despite my jumbled memories, the reason I didn’t go crazy was that in the end, he was mine. I first saw him when I was fifteen, managed to catch his eye when he wasn’t interested in me, lost him foolishly, met him again by chance, clung to him desperately, and finally secured him like this.

He wasn’t someone I forced to stay; he loved me. When I opened my arms, he hugged me; when I looked into his eyes, he smiled; when I rubbed my lips against his, he gave me a sweet kiss. Because he loved me. I felt giddy, like it was our first kiss, and my body squirmed with excitement.

Every time I kissed him, I felt the same way. I was so elated that it felt like I was flying, not caring if my lips would be swollen in the morning. We would kiss until dawn. I grabbed his collar and ripped his shirt open in one swift motion.

“…Hey!”

I smiled while covering his startled mouth. We really would go at it until sunrise.

***

It felt like I hadn’t even slept for thirty minutes, but I was suddenly wide awake. My whole body ached with muscle pain. I grimaced, clutching my throbbing shoulder. I had left it alone, thinking I wouldn’t die just because I didn’t get a sedative as I was almost healed, but now that the effects of the medicine have worn off, I felt the full weight of gravity and a vivid sense of reality.

The power of the medicine is more remarkable than I thought. The confusion of my memories hit me raw, making me dizzy and nauseous. Until now, I had been drifting through my mixed memories, but now I felt swept away by them. The pain is close to a hangover, and I stay still for a while, holding my head.

Once I had calmed down, I lifted my head and saw the back of the person who had kept insisting all night that I needed absolute rest but couldn’t really resist. It’s covered in messy marks, from bite marks to various stains. Since there were no windows, I couldn’t be sure if we had really gone at it until dawn, but seeing the evidence that we did everything we wanted was quite satisfying.

I was deeply pleased that there was no longer anyone to scold me for this and happy that I could be loved equally. Honestly, I wanted to keep going, but I held back because I didn’t want to do it with my body in its current state. Having been bedridden for so long, I had lost a lot of muscle.

A man has his pride. How can I ask my lover to have s3x with me in this condition? Even though my legs were in this state, if I started rehabilitation exercises now, I should be able to get in shape by summer. I pondered this seriously while fondly gazing at my sleeping lover’s face.

But while that’s my situation, why isn’t he doing it? Has his libido decreased? Or does it not stand up anymore? Even though I knew it wasn’t the case, I couldn’t help but be startled and impulsively slipped my hand into his pants. It was hard just as firmly in the morning as mine. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved, but the size was exactly as I remembered, which was astonishing.

As I was touching it with an astonished face, I noticed the phone on the table. I reached out and grabbed it. Although he probably contacted my family after I regained consciousness, it felt more reassuring for me to do it myself. Without a hint of guilt, I turned on the phone, and the fingerprint screen appeared. Absentmindedly, I placed my fingerprint, but it didn’t match, and switched to the pattern screen. Then, my hand naturally unlocked the pattern.

“…Huh?”

How did I unlock it? I guess my body remembers even if I don’t. Before I can marvel at this, I frown at the sight of my unsightly sleeping face. It was touching that he updated the phone background to my picture, but did it have to be this photo?

I don’t like how my face looks squished with my chin tucked, but judging by my good complexion, it seemed to be a photo from last year. Debating whether to delete it or not, I opened the camera app and secretly took a picture of his face. It wasn’t revenge but more of a desire to share the sleeping face fairly. It was the first time in a while I saw him deeply asleep. As I wanted to send the photo to my phone, I searched through the contacts.

Seo Yi-yeon, of course not here. Seo Seung-joon, not here? Seo Seung-won’s family, also not here. Seo Seung-won’s parents, this isn’t here either. What? Why is everything gone? As I fiddled with it aimlessly, I hesitantly entered my own number. Feeling like I was about to see something I shouldn’t, I squeezed my eyes shut. It seemed silly to stop now, so I bravely peeked. ‘My Baby.’ I stared blankly at the word ‘My Baby’ above my number and buried my head in the blanket.

My chest itched so badly I wanted to scratch it, but I held back and slowly moved my fingers to edit the name. I was curious about his reaction when he saw this, but I decided to save it for later. Trying to hide my twitching smile, I glanced once more at Tae Seong-je’s sleeping face.

Seeing his soundly sleeping face, I felt an urge to let him sleep longer. I placed the phone back on the table and grabbed the notebook beside it to leave a short memo. [Hello. Thank you for always bringing our meals. I’ll have a late breakfast with hyung today. Please come back at lunchtime. Thank you. P.S. Hyung is sleeping. Please be quiet.]

I dusted my hands and looked at the door beyond the folding screen. Now, I needed to place this note outside the door. With the wheelchair in the corner and a perfectly healthy man sleeping, it meant I had to move myself. Rolling off the bed, I crawled to the door on my hands and knees. It was my first bit of labor in a long time.