DI Ch 20

Was this how he managed to survive as a young boy amongst a gang of thugs? I wanted to crack a joke at him to lighten his mood, but I didn’t dare to say anything because I felt obligated to repay the trick.

When he smiled coldly, I didn’t feel that way… but when he smiled brightly as if he was having fun, it felt refreshing, as if he had the power to attract people. How can a person be so polar opposite? I kept thinking about it and realized he was intentionally smiling to catch me off guard.

I realized why he kept smiling at me. Woo Ji-min was wary of Tae Seong-je’s smile because he enjoyed playing with others. Tae Seong-je’s smile was definitely out of the ordinary, and I couldn’t help but notice it… I couldn’t say anything even if he called me stupid. I didn’t know. I really didn’t know. How could I be so devoted to him? Of course, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have known even in my wildest dreams.

Not long after, a car skidded in front of us. I didn’t recognize the car, but it wasn’t Tae Seong-je’s, and as he approached, the passenger window rolled down. As if trying to convey a message to the driver, Tae Seong-je bent down leisurely and turned his head to ask me.

“Where is your house?”

I answered the question. After delivering the address, he straightened his upper body and gestured to me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled awkwardly. Tae Seong-je clicked his tongue and tapped the bridge of my nose. Ack.

“In this day and age, you shouldn’t reveal your home address carelessly.”

What are you talking about when you’re looking into other people’s backgrounds? I couldn’t hide my dissatisfaction, so I didn’t respond, but Tae Seong-je shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t care.

“What was your name? Anyway, have a safe trip.”

Huh. My mouth dropped open in disbelief. I was ashamed to admit that I had worried about what if he liked me too much, but he didn’t see me as anything special. I was embarrassed that I thought he felt something for me because he went out of his way to meet me even though I wasn’t his type.

Of course, being gay doesn’t mean he like all men… Oh, was Tae Seong-je gay? I don’t know. There seems to have been a story that Woo Ji-min slept with him, but I don’t know exactly because I used to skim that part. Anyway, as I stared blankly at him as if I was nailed in shock, Tae Seong-je smiled and squinted his eyes playfully.

“Why. Do you feel sad?”

“A little…”

“Then kiss me and go. For the last time.”

For the last time.

I finally accepted that I screwed everything up today. How did it connect to the second part in this way? I should have spent at least one night together to make a relationship so that I could easily approach Tae Seong-je later. No matter how embarrassing it was, I should’ve seduced him to death, but I just wanted to drink and take it quietly, so it ended up like this.

It was unfair and regrettable. On the other hand, Tae Seong-je didn’t look regretful at all. He was the one who asked me to meet him first, and he was the one who asked me to sleep with him, so why was I the only one who felt disappointed? I felt like I had been his precious treasure for a moment and then became a worthless stone. How many hours have I known Tae Seong-je since I met him? I even felt self-conscious about the difference in years between us.

Chup.

I tiptoed and placed my lips on Tae Seong-je’s cheek. I lowered my stretched out toes and clenched my fists. I couldn’t figure out why I kept feeling upset about how much Tae Seong-je had treated me like a child, even teasing me by using words that didn’t suit me. I couldn’t figure out why I kept feeling upset. I hated everything about being treated like a child. What had I done? After this night, he would forget I even existed. The thought made me so sad that I felt like I was going to cry. 

“Fuck.”

When I raised my head in response to the sudden swearing, I noticed Tae Seong-je’s mischievous smile harden. This person only knows how to curse, but fuck, I do as well. Of course, I don’t spit it out because I don’t want to offend anyone, you bastard…

Suddenly, Tae Seong-je grabbed my chin with one hand and pulled it. Before I could even think what was going on this time, I was literally swallowed by Tae Seong-je. It was a kiss, so hasty and ferocious that it was difficult to feel anything. Unlike the first time, he was impatient and inconsiderate. I felt like I was going to fall as my body kept bending backward from his strength. However, before it happened, Tae Seong-je supported the back of my neck, grabbed my waist, and pulled me toward him. It was such an intense grip that I felt like I was going to get bruised.

When my body collided with Tae Seong-je’s, I unintentionally grabbed his shoulder and forearm. Nonetheless, in a chilling fear of being eaten, I scratched Tae Seong-je’s shoulder with my nails. It was a kiss tenacious enough to keep oxygen from entering my mouth, strong enough to keep my head from turning, and with a subtly bitter cigarette taste.

Later, I heard rough breathing and tongues tangling and slurping, and when I realized I was making obscene noises, my entire body felt on fire. Even if it’s just a couple going their separate ways, kissing on the street when someone was nearby is a bit embarrassing. How can he put his subordinate on standby and try to mix tongues in front of them?

This was a different level than hiding in a blind spot to avoid people’s gaze and quietly kissing. The car window remained open, and several people passed by. I hoped they’d think it was just a bunch of drunken people. No, I wish everyone went blind. I’m hoping they’re deaf so they can’t hear us kissing. If that happens, the world will be left with only Tae Seong-je and the two of them, but that’s how it feels right now…

Because Tae Seong-je grabbed my waist and lifted me slightly, I held on to his shoulders and stood up on my toes. It was too much for me to even accept him, let alone follow him. The sound of getting wet and sucking was so blatant that it was insanely embarrassing to even listen to it. Tae Seong-je seemed strangely a little impatient. Where did that easy-going attitude he showed at the beginning go?

It’s a pity, but he hugged me so tightly as if this was the last time. Then, he hugged me tightly in his arms once more, pressed his lips deeply as if sucking me and parted. I felt like my lips would be swollen when I looked in the mirror tomorrow, or even right now.

“Haa… Heuk, ehm… ”

While I was busy letting out a muffled gasp, my face was caught in Tae-sung’s hands, and I was practically buried in them. Tae Seong-je, who was breathing heavily with me, covered my cheek and made a serious face. Then he kneaded my cheeks like kneading some kind of rice cake.

“It’s weird. What are you, how can you be so cute.”

He murmured in a rapidly lowered, muffled voice.

“Your cuteness is really insanely cute.”

“Thank, thank you…”

“What are you thankful for? Come to your senses, go home, wash up, and go to bed. You’re drunk. You don’t know how to be afraid of people, and you don’t know how to be afraid of alcohol, so you go around without thinking. If someone eats you all the way down to the bones, there will be nothing left.”

Tae Seong-je smiled as he ruffled my hair. I barely swallowed the saliva that seemed to flow and quickly swallowed my short breath. My nerves were all focused on the tingling lips, but I was more distracted than when I got drunk. I couldn’t even focus properly, and I barely lifted my head to look at him. Tae Seong-je pretended to be a good older brother or a close friend again, but something was missing.

“Is this really our last?”

We won’t see each other for years after that… Maybe I’ll see him again in two years? I can’t help myself. But Tae Seong-je will take care of everything at that time, so let’s do it again. I was sorting through my regrets when I noticed Tae Seong-je looking at me, hesitating for a long time. Just when I was wondering what else, he released his hand from my face and pushed me away from him.

Tae Seong-je said as he twirled his fingers in the air.

“Stand there. Turn around.”

“Like this…?”

“Yeah. Slowly.”

With the tip of his chin held up, he stared at me here and there, piercingly and persistently. I felt like a home shopping product, but I obeyed his words. Step back, stop, turn in place as he told me… My appearance was funny, but I stayed calm because Tae Seong-je looked at me seriously instead of laughing.

“Okay. Come back to me.”

“…”

“I won’t eat you, so come here.”

He opened his arms nonchalantly. I hesitated once, then opened my arms the same way Tae Seong-je did, and fell into his embrace. Our bodies were drawn together as if from the beginning. His embrace was steady and warm, like the pieces of a puzzle fitting together.

I don’t know what kind of whim it was, but I put my nose in him and hugged him quietly. If I had a brother, would I have hugged him like this? No, I didn’t even hug my younger sister like this. What about siblings with an age gap? No, I don’t think siblings would hug each other like this…

Tae Seong-je stepped back a little and looked down at me with cautious eyes. Then he touched my face for a long time and spoke up.

“Originally, you were supposed to pay today. Right?”

Oh, right. For helping me out.

“That’s right… I was going to pay once, but I couldn’t.”

But it was unfair. I really wanted to pay, but he was the one who didn’t let me. Then, as if he understood my frustration, he nodded and said,

“Okay. You pay it next time.”

“Next time?”