DI Ch 206

This had never happened before, so instead of being confused, I was more worried. The fact that he checked the message immediately and then flat-out said he wasn’t doing well—it was concerning because that wasn’t like him at all. A person who’s always busy with work or studying, there must be something going on for him to respond this quickly…

[12:20] Did something happen?

My face stiffened as I quickly ran through my thoughts. What could be the reason someone isn’t doing well? Oh, no—could it be Kang Moo-hyun? Is this because of him? It finally hit me. Even though the situation might not have played out the way I thought, I should’ve been more attentive. I had been too careless. I started worrying whether something might have happened to him while I wasn’t paying attention.

Have you eaten lunch? [12:22]

If not, come out. I’ll treat you. [12:22]

Something must really be wrong. It was so rare for him to suddenly ask me to come out that I became very tense. I thought it was all over, I thought I could let it go now, but the thought that it might not be over yet made my legs ache and my knees buckle slightly. Gripping my thighs, I was about to text him back and agree to meet, but then I realized—wait.

…Where am I? Hold on a second. This isn’t Seoul, is it? Could it be somewhere in Gyeonggi Province? It was embarrassing to realize I had been living in my partner’s house for months without even knowing the exact location, just waiting for him to come and go. My ears burned with shame.

Anyway, it was awkward because I couldn’t just leave the situation. I had decided not to move until people left, so it was impossible right now. What if I make a promise and then can’t go? But saying let’s meet tomorrow seemed both sorry and anxious to me, so it was hard to make a quick decision. Is there only one main entrance here? While I was pondering, a voice came through the phone speaker.

[Eat with me. Let’s eat together. I’m coming over. No, I’m already on my way, so get dressed and come out. I’ll be there soon.]

His tone was casual, like always, but there was a sense of urgency that made me wonder if he was even breathing while talking. Yet, I didn’t need to listen closely to tell that he was desperately trying to hold it together…

“Are you sure you can come?”

[Of course.]

It doesn’t seem like it… Even though I thought we had prepared thoroughly and wouldn’t feel too anxious being apart, it seemed I had miscalculated. Swallowing my disappointment, I replied to Woo Ji-min as I spoke.

“I’m all washed up, I just need to get dressed.”

[12:29] I’m sorry. I’m not at home right now, so I can’t meet for lunch. 

I should tell him we can meet for dinner if that’s okay, depending on the situation.

[Shall we go see the ocean tonight?]

“Yes. …What? The ocean?”

I thought I heard wrong. I was so dumbfounded that I blanked out for a moment.

[12:29] Just a moment. I’ll contact you again.

When? [12:29]

No, it’s fine… Got it. [12:29]

I have plenty of time, so we can meet whenever it’s convenient for you. Anytime is fine. [12:29]

My attention was drawn to the messages that poured in as soon as I sent mine. But I was distracted by Tae Seong-je mentioning the ocean again before I could even process it. No, this is ridiculous.

“What’s with the sudden talk about the ocean? Aren’t you busy? Didn’t you say you had things to finish?”

[Did I say that? It’s not a big deal. I don’t have to be there in person. It’s fine. It’s okay if we go. Let’s go out to eat, relax thoroughly, and come back to refresh ourselves. We need some rest. Should we stay for a few days while we’re at it? The hotel we were at before wasn’t great because I booked any room due to work. There are usually much better rooms. But there are better places, you know. Not that hotel, but other nice ones. Or better yet, how about a trip abroad?]

“What? Are you sure you’re making sense right now?”

[We’ve never been abroad together. Let’s go this time.]

A trip abroad together—it was a tempting offer, but I wasn’t feeling excited about it, which was strange. If hyung really needed a break and wanted to get away, I could understand, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Something was off. And then, as if he was reading my mind, he started suggesting that if I didn’t want to travel, we could go to an island instead and rest there. He even mentioned something about the owner of the place having passed away, so if I liked it, I could have it. I pressed my forehead in frustration. Ah, what is he saying… He kept saying the mansion didn’t lack anything and that it wouldn’t be inconvenient at all, but it was hard to take him seriously. An island? Really? How could he be so out of touch with reality?

“You still haven’t gotten dressed? What are you doing? You’ll catch a cold like that.”

“Ah, you’re here.”

He said he’d be here soon, and he really was. I barely had time to dawdle before he arrived. As I hurriedly changed clothes, our eyes suddenly met, and I paused to approach him closely. When I placed my hand on his handsome face, he naturally nuzzled my palm.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re saying strange things.”

“What’s strange about suggesting a trip?”

“Well, that’s true, but…”

“You don’t want to?”

“Of course not.”

I withdrew my hand from his cheek and wrapped my arms around his neck. As I pulled him close to kiss him, his lips parted, and his soft tongue explored my mouth. I wouldn’t particularly refuse if he wanted to give or do anything that made him happy, but why is he saying this now? I don’t understand. It seems like something must have happened for him to act like this.

“You were working hard. But it looked like you might get hurt, so be careful.”

“What?”

“Rehabilitation.”

As I licked his damp lips… my face stiffened. He must have only heard the trainer’s voice while I was exercising, and since I was a mess today, I must have looked like a complete novice who couldn’t even follow instructions properly, which made me feel embarrassed, frustrated, and a bit humiliated.

“I’m doing well. No, I’m usually good at this, but I couldn’t concentrate today. Normally, I can do it well on my own. I know how to use all the equipment too.”

“…What are you getting all defensive about?”

The gentle look in his eyes quickly vanished, and his soft expression turned into a deep frown. It seemed like the conversation had gone awry, and from the way he was suppressing his frustration, it was clear I was the cause. It was true that I hadn’t been focused, which was my fault. I could’ve gotten hurt, yet I was upset about it.

“Okay, fine. I admit it. I’m not an expert, and I haven’t been working out for decades…”

“No.”

His face was momentarily speechless when I accepted it so easily. He roughly ran his hand through his hair, trying to hide his expression, then adjusted my clothes before pushing me towards the door, saying let’s just go eat. What is it? Was that not it?

“Why? What is it? Ah, could it be you don’t like me exercising? But I’m mostly doing rehabilitation-focused exercises, and I’m not doing much.”

“That’s not what I meant. Just… I misspoke.”

“You spoke well, what did you misspeak about?”

So what was he trying to say? Or was it just an excuse to bring something up? I’ve been open about wanting to talk things through, but he isn’t. He seemed annoyed that I couldn’t focus during rehab—was he blaming the trainer? Maybe he was dissatisfied with the instructor, not me.

If he just told me, I’d try to fix it, but he remained silent throughout the hearty lunch and leisurely watermelon dessert. It didn’t give me a chance to fix anything. Sure, I thought it was cute how he stayed close to me even without saying much, but I couldn’t figure out why he was acting this way.

The appearance of watermelon reminds me that the dreadful August and September are not far off. It had already been hot since May, so this summer didn’t seem like it would be easy. So, should I ask if I can head out later? He probably wouldn’t like it if I said I was going out alone.

While calculating the right moment to bring it up, I felt something on my tongue. I thought the watermelon was seedless, but there seemed to be one stuck at the tip of my tongue.

“Is there a seed?”

“Mm.”

I mumbled a vague response due to the watermelon in my mouth and searched for the seed. His palm opened near my mouth, and without thinking, I spat the seed into his palm. He quickly took it away as if stealing it, but I felt my hair stand on end. Even though I’d gotten used to how indulgent he was with me, what was I thinking, spitting something into his hand.

“I’m sorry. Tissue, I’ll wipe it off with a tissue.”

“It’s just a bit of saliva, what’s the big deal.”

With an indifferent face, as if it were nothing, he casually licked his palm, and suddenly my whole body heated up enough to make my skin tingle. I don’t particularly like to express it as being starved, but I must be pretty starved. Judging by how my body was reacting to every little thing he did, and how I was constantly on the verge of arousal, it seemed pretty serious. I hugged the bag I was carrying, trying to focus on thoughts that would cool me down. Should I just call Woo Ji-min over here? He’d be on edge and uncomfortable, but it seemed like the better alternative.

“Why are you thinking of other things when I’m here?”

He grabbed my chin and turned my face toward him, teasing me. There was nothing cute about him. Not telling me anything, just interfering with that body of his, making me aroused… I exercised harder because they say exercise reduces sexual desire, but he keeps rendering it meaningless, driving me crazy.

It was too much of him to keep stirring things up and then doing nothing about it. It was an even bigger problem because when we’re alone, he gets even closer and doesn’t hesitate to show affection. But I couldn’t distance myself either. I just gripped my poor bag tightly and endured. Yeah, I definitely needed someone else around. I had no other way to think of to suppress my desire for him, so it couldn’t be helped.