DI Ch 216

However, what we ended up watching was a documentary about p0rn stars. It’s a long story, but to make it short, it happened after breakfast. Not in the room that could barely be distinguished as either a hospital room or a bedroom, but in a more impressive space resembling a movie theater. I discreetly and quickly bought an R-rated film, acting as if nothing had happened. Though I had said I’d wait until the end of summer while working on myself, how could I actually wait?

So, I planned to watch the movie, make small talk, and try to set the mood when the steamy scenes came on. But contrary to my plan, the movie jumped straight into explicit moaning without any story. I realized my strategy of “Let’s just go with the flow and get it over with instead of waiting until summer” had failed from the start. While enduring the pressure of his arm around my shoulder, I was angry about how such a movie could be openly sold. But I couldn’t escape the scolding, and I was only freed from his grip after being lectured about how harmful the p0rn industry is and that I wouldn’t have even attempted such a foolish act if I had known.

I was grateful for being educated with proper and educational words about how the supply never ends because there are people who consume such things, but it felt odd coming from someone who was far from being on the right side of the law. Shouldn’t I be the one doing it anyway? Regardless, I understood that not only p0rn videos but also similar types of videos are harmful. That’s why I regretted even more buying such trash that ruined the mood from the start, and I even decided never to consume it again.

Sigh…

It’s ruined anyway. I could only sigh. The atmosphere was beyond salvaging, and feeling like we couldn’t do anything, so I just emptied my mind like someone absentmindedly munching popcorn, slipping my hand under his shirt. I caressed his abdomen and fiddled with his waist…

“Sss…”

“Hyung, you shouldn’t assert your opinions like that anymore… It’s been a while since you gave me ownership of your body…”

I replied lazily in a cheeky tone. I knew better than to talk to him like that, but my mouth, out of control due to my frustration, caused me trouble. How ridiculous. Does he still think his body belongs to him? Who was the one who said they’d give it all to me? Slowly lowering my hand, I massaged his right thigh, feeling the firmness building up, which gave me a slight therapeutic relief. As he flinched without saying a word, I kept my eyes on the documentary.

The documentary was in full swing discussing forced drug use during filming, which made me suspect that maybe our lack of s3x, while ostensibly due to my health issues, might actually be because of Hyung’s aversion to drvgs. It didn’t seem like an excuse, and from my experience, that aversion still lingered, so it seemed like a plausible hypothesis. While I was lucky enough not to have addiction or aftereffects, it might not be the same for him. If that’s not the case either, then I’m at a loss for words.

By the time the movie, or rather the documentary, ended, I concluded that I wasn’t the only one who seemed desperate. With no solution in sight, the only option was to spend time doing our own things as a temporary measure. So I forcibly tried to separate, saying it was okay for him to go to work now, but he firmly refused. Seriously, refused?

“Come on, you look obviously busy, but why won’t you go when I’m finally letting you leave even though I selfishly held onto you? I’m not saying go for my sake. I’m starting to worry about you having problems. Go and do something.”

“Oh? You’re worried about me?”

“What’s so funny? Just go. I said you can go. Ah, forget it. I’m going to study now, so do whatever you want, stay or leave.”

“What are you going to study? Why are you laughing? Hm? Why are you laughing?”

Of course, seeing him chase after me whenever I tried to escape reminded me of old times, which made it impossible not to laugh. I never thought there’d be a day when this situation would be reversed. Since he stayed glued to my side, I couldn’t concentrate, and I eventually ended up lying on the bed. I figured he’d leave if I ignored him long enough, but instead, he just sat there, watching me solve problems, so I passed him my work to grade. I told him to just mark the wrong answers, which should’ve been quick, but his serious face as he circled each one made me chuckle.

“Come here.”

We were lying side by side on our stomachs when he suddenly rolled over onto his back and told me to come over. I quickly put down the pen I was holding. As I snuggled into his arms, he started laughing as if it was amusing, which made me curious, but I laughed along because his laughter was pleasant to hear. It’s certainly different from how he was in the morning. As someone who likes both this side of him and that side, it was all good to me.

“No, come up and sit here.”

“Where?”

“On my chest.”

Even though it wasn’t something one should say while I was studying, it was a rather provocative suggestion. Did he think I wouldn’t sit if he said that? I immediately climbed up, but my bold demeanor vanished, turning bright red when he started unbuckling my pants. Even though I had been waiting for this, I felt embarrassed and shy when it progressed so suddenly and seriously. Of course, I had no intention of backing out. How many months has it been? My attitude became more docile with anticipation.

“Kneel down.”

With a gentle tone, I couldn’t even swallow the saliva in my mouth as I obediently knelt. His touch was soft as he slowly removed my pants and underwear, caressing my tense thighs as if to soothe them. However, Hyung’s hands were rough from injuries, which ended up stimulating my skin, and thanks to that, I became er3ct even before we did anything. Regardless of my embarrassment, he naturally made me sit back down and gently pressed my p3nis against his chest.

But, even though he didn’t properly without even properly touching or stroking me, with just a few soft rubs, I shamefully couldn’t hold back and came. It wasn’t even premature ejaculation, and I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t hold it in, so I covered my face with both hands. I wanted to die of embarrassment. Separately, I peeked through my fingers to admire Tae Seong-je’s face spattered with semen.

“Why are you licking that!”

I panicked and immediately tried to stop him while secretly peeking.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Can’t you just bring a towel and wipe it off?”

I protested with a deflated voice, but he pressed his cheek against mine with a smile. It seemed like he meant to leave it alone if I wasn’t going to eat it, but I didn’t want him to eat it, and I didn’t want to eat it either. What a pervert. How could someone eat their own… After hesitating for a long time, I reluctantly bowed my head and stuck my tongue out a little. Still, I didn’t want him to be the one to consume it.

“…Uh, this is really perverted.”

“Really? You licked it, and now you’re calling me a pervert for having a taste of your own?”

“Decent people don’t eat things they shouldn’t… Ah, really. I’m going to drink some water.”

As I tried to get off his chest, his hand—sticky with my semen—slid down from my butt to my thigh, going deeper with each passing moment.

“Are you going to do it?”

Why are you touching me there if you said you weren’t going to do anything? Looking at him just smiling silently, my face suddenly hardened. Shit, shit, it hurts, damn, was it always this painful? When the fingertip that had been rubbing my sensitive spot finally entered, a reality more intense than ever struck my body like lightning. It was just fingers, just fingertips, yet? All my nerves screamed in rejection, and I remembered the first time. I thought I was going to die from the pain, crying tears that didn’t even exist. Even after it was over, the pain was so bad that I cried again. I realized that my body was practically in the same condition as it was back then.

“Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“…I don’t think we need to do this.”

“Why?”

His gentle tone, filled with composure, made me even more nervous.

“Well, I think platonic love isn’t so bad in this life.”

“Didn’t you say we should do it at least once even if it’s platonic?”

“No, no. It’s fine, really. Hyung, I’m—”

Before I could finish saying I was fine, he pushed further. In a panic, I reached back and grabbed Tae Seong-je’s wrist.

“Hyung, stop, don’t. I swear, I’m going to die.”

I struggled to get off Tae Seong-je’s body, but my arm was firmly held, and I couldn’t escape. Moreover, I lost my balance and fell forward, and my lower back was immediately embraced, leaving me completely immobile. I frantically escaped with all my might. I managed to break free with difficulty, but only then did I realize he had let me go. At the same time, I realized he had deliberately provoked me to prevent me from asking to do it again. I clearly remember how good s3x with him was, but I also vividly recall how excruciating it was to get there. He must know that too. I was frustrated by the reversed situation, but there was nothing I could do about it.

I could hear him laughing loudly from the other room, enough for me to hear clearly despite hiding. He teased me, saying that I was still just a kid, asking if I wanted to play hide and seek, and what he’d get if he found me. Annoyed, I ran barefoot out the window and up the roof to avoid him catching me. Only then did I see him apologizing, but it didn’t make me feel any less bitter. How could he joke around like that? Damn it. I’ll leave him to worry for about thirty minutes before coming down, just to make him suffer.