MWMM Chapter 79: Relapse

The next morning, when Yan Yuzhou woke up, Shen Ci was holding his hand, his large frame awkwardly curled up at the bedside in a clearly uncomfortable position. His thick, fine hair brushed lightly against the back of Yan Yuzhou’s hand, tickling it.

Yan Yuzhou looked at the sunlight streaming through the window and realized Shen Ci must have stayed by his side like this all night. A wave of sour, bittersweet emotion surged in his chest.

At the slightest movement from him, Shen Ci woke up.

Almost immediately, Shen Ci loosened his grip on Yan Yuzhou’s hand and leaned back slightly, as if to withdraw.

Yan Yuzhou’s heart sank a little. Instinctively, he tightened his hold on Shen Ci’s hand just as he was about to pull away.

“Mr. Shen,” Yan Yuzhou softly tugged at Shen Ci’s hand and swayed it gently, “how about we try this every day? Maybe, little by little, I’ll get used to your touch.”

Shen Ci stared into Yan Yuzhou’s bright, shining eyes, feeling as though his heart had been fiercely pierced. His throat bobbed, but before he could speak, Yan Yuzhou smiled and continued, “Just like before, didn’t we do a lot of practice for the sake of medical advancement? This time, let’s start practicing again, okay?”

For a long moment, Shen Ci slowly pulled Yan Yuzhou into his arms, his voice slightly choked.
“Alright, baby.”

From then on, for the next several days, the two of them interacted a little more each day in the hospital room. In the beginning, when they hugged, Yan Yuzhou could barely last a minute before the pain overwhelmed him. But gradually, he managed to stay quietly in Shen Ci’s arms for five minutes — they even shared brief kisses.

For both of them, it was already a huge breakthrough.

However, Yan Yuzhou’s addiction still flared up from time to time. Whenever it did, he would drive Shen Ci out of the room and endure it alone until he couldn’t bear it any longer, at which point he would call the doctor in for a sedative. His stubborn, determined figure in those moments tore at Shen Ci’s heart.

There was even a time when Shen Ci asked him if bringing Chang Fa over to try marking him might make it easier to endure.

The moment Yan Yuzhou heard that, he turned pale and shoved Shen Ci out of the room, refusing to let him in for the rest of the day. Shen Ci stood outside the door for most of the afternoon, and it was only after Yan Yuzhou’s anger finally subsided that he reopened the door — cheeks puffed out in anger — and demanded whether Shen Ci dared say something like that again.

The sight made Shen Ci’s heart melt completely; how could he ever bring up the idea of letting Yan Yuzhou rely on someone else again?

But temporary peace did not mean the problem was solved. Yan Yuzhou’s addiction only grew worse with each relapse. Eventually, even the sedatives had little effect.

The most recent episode had been particularly brutal. After injecting the sedative, Yan Yuzhou struggled for four full hours before finally falling into an exhausted sleep. Throughout it all, he had locked himself in the hospital room, refusing to let Shen Ci come in even once.

For as long as Yan Yuzhou fought alone inside, Shen Ci stood outside, aching helplessly.

Only when Yan Yuzhou finally passed through that agonizing ordeal and fell into a deep sleep did Shen Ci rush inside. Seeing Yan Yuzhou’s worn and fragile sleeping face, he slowly bent down and pressed a deep, tender kiss to his forehead.

“You’ve worked so hard, baby.”

***

The next episode for Yan Yuzhou struck at sunset—suddenly and without any warning, catching them completely off guard.

It happened just as the two of them were practicing kissing.

Out of nowhere, Yan Yuzhou felt an overwhelming sense of repulsion toward Shen Ci. An intense gnawing sensation surged from within him, causing him to almost instantly lose all reason.

With a sudden force, he bit Shen Ci’s lip, the pain making Shen Ci tighten his hold around Yan Yuzhou’s arm, almost as if he wanted to pull Yan Yuzhou entirely into himself.

Tasting the warm blood on Shen Ci’s lips jolted Yan Yuzhou into a brief moment of clarity. Summoning the last of his strength, he pushed Shen Ci away.

“Get out.” Yan Yuzhou curled himself up in the corner, struggling desperately to suppress the violent impulses surging within him.

Shen Ci’s heart ached as he watched Yan Yuzhou shrink into a ball, as if all the strength had been drained from his body in an instant. Fine beads of sweat broke out and spread visibly across his body, soaking through his clothes in less than a minute.

“Shen Ci, hurry and get out. I can’t hold it back much longer.”

Yan Yuzhou lifted his head with great difficulty, clearly fighting for control, and let out a low, pleading growl at Shen Ci.

Usually, whenever Yan Yuzhou asked him to leave, Shen Ci would obey immediately, fetching the doctor and a sedative. But this time, seeing Yan Yuzhou in such agony, Shen Ci found himself unable to move.

“Zhouzhou,” Shen Ci cautiously extended a hand, inching closer little by little, “don’t be afraid. You have to believe in yourself. You can do it.”

Yan Yuzhou’s gaze was vacant, as if he had, for a moment, been convinced by Shen Ci’s words. He allowed Shen Ci to draw closer, bit by bit. But when Shen Ci was only a breath away, Yan Yuzhou suddenly snapped, lunging at him like a trapped beast, unleashing every ounce of his strength in a frenzied attack.

Shen Ci wrapped his arms around the raging Yan Yuzhou, shielding himself from harm. His hand gently patted Yan Yuzhou’s back again and again, trying to calm the person who was spiraling further out of control in his embrace.

Yan Yuzhou was pulled tightly against him, his small head resting on Shen Ci’s shoulder, his entire body trembling violently.

Immediately after, as the breath against his neck grew heavier, Shen Ci felt a sudden, searing pain shoot through the side of his neck, radiating through his entire body. His vision nearly blacked out, and he almost cried out from the agony.

Yan Yuzhou had lost control completely, sinking his teeth viciously into Shen Ci’s neck.

Very quickly, the hospital room was filled with the scent of blood mingling with pheromones.

Yan Yuzhou, his eyes bloodshot, clamped his jaws tightly onto Shen Ci’s neck with a fierceness as if he were facing his most hated enemy. Shen Ci, already pale from the injuries, gritted his teeth and stubbornly restrained himself, refusing to retaliate with force. Instead, he did everything he could to soothe the out-of-control man in his arms.

No one knew how long it lasted before Yan Yuzhou finally tired himself out and loosened his bite.

Blood dripped steadily from Shen Ci’s neck, staining his collar and the front of his shirt in dark, blooming patterns, a wickedly beautiful sight that stabbed into Yan Yuzhou’s heart, snapping him into a fleeting moment of clarity.

His crimson eyes, upon seeing the wounds he had inflicted, were suddenly filled with overwhelming guilt.

“Shen Ci—” Yan Yuzhou panicked, wiping at his mouth with his hand, only to realize that his lips and teeth were smeared with Shen Ci’s blood. His heart twisted in anguish; he wished more than anything that he could have taken the injuries upon himself instead. Brow furrowed tightly, he staggered back several steps, shaking his head and growling lowly, “Didn’t I tell you to leave??? Shen Ci, please, don’t come any closer!”

Shen Ci’s eyes were filled with nothing but heartache. He didn’t seem to be aware of his own injuries at all, letting the blood drip freely as a faint, gentle smile touched his lips. Not only did he not retreat—he stepped forward.

“All this time… every time you were alone in the hospital, you endured it like this?” Shen Ci said softly. “Zhouzhou, I can’t bear to see you suffer like this. If you can’t endure it, then take it out on me.”

As he spoke, ignoring Yan Yuzhou’s protests, he strode forward in large steps, pulling the guilt-ridden Yan Yuzhou tightly into his arms, locking down his struggling hands and feet. Shen Ci completely lowered all his defenses, exposing himself wholly before Yan Yuzhou, and coaxed him in a tender whisper:

“Zhouzhou, a husband’s duty is to cherish his wife. If you’re hurting this much, don’t suffer alone. Let me share it with you.”