TEB Ch 39

Has the king already left?

After the king finished his brief toast and vacated his seat, Sigrid took his place. He was representing the king, who had lost his successor, the crown prince, due to Count Vasil’s treason.

Well, he’ll inherit the throne soon enough anyway.

Liev smiled at Sigrid before shifting his gaze away from him. He then locked eyes with Renard and asked, “Isn’t that correct?

Using fatigue as an excuse, Liev left the banquet early, and before he knew it, Renard was following closely behind him.

“Now, what…” 

Just as Liev was about to turn around and snap at Renard, Renard, already excited, grabbed Liev and asked before he could finish his sentence.

“I heard from the members that you were really worried because my return was delayed? They said you even got angry with Reinhart!”

His excited face was bright, as if it didn’t matter to him whether Liev was upset or not. Liev tried to escape from Renard, but he had already grabbed his wrist. 

“It’s n-nothing like that. I just asked because the schedule changed. It’s uncomfortable to just wait around when the planned schedule is delayed day by day.” 

However, no matter how much effort he put into controlling his voice, he couldn’t take back what he had already let slip. Renard, now even more convinced, pressed on.

“Lie.” 

“It’s not a lie.” 

Even though he knew it was an obvious excuse, he couldn’t help himself. Despite claiming he wasn’t interested and didn’t care, his face flushed red with embarrassment. Impatience gnawed at him, he knew he was the problem, but the words were stuck in his heart.

“Stop it already. Do you even realize how many people have suffered because of your stubbornness?”

In the end, Liev chose to hurt Renard once again. They had wandered far enough from the palace that they were now near the carriages, and the noisy chatter of the crowd was no longer audible. The nobles who had gathered at the palace to attend the ceremony were all still inside the banquet hall, so Liev seized the opportunity to speak harshly when they were finally alone. Renard’s face briefly flickered with displeasure, but he quickly retorted.

“What else could I do? If I didn’t do this, you’d just keep hiding, so it’s your fault, Liev.”

Liev was at a loss for words. Then he looked at his lonely face instead of avoiding it and couldn’t think of anything to say, and his mind went blank. Why does he keep making that hurt expression? His heart tightened at the sight of the scar on his forearm that caught his eye. 

There were so many things Liev wanted to say if he met Renard again, but when he actually saw his face, he was speechless. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I didn’t mean to do that.” The moment he asked if it hurt, it felt like everything would fall apart. Separating Renard from himself was an unavoidable choice, and he had prepared himself to be resentful and hateful for it. 

But why couldn’t he do what he wanted? It was frustrating and pathetic that he didn’t want to give up the possibility of turning this relationship around if he wanted to. 

“Sorry,” if only one word could be forgiven for the scars he inflicted ten years ago. Only then, without realizing it, did he feel like he would have hoped that Sigrid’s words, which had been dismissed as nonsense, might be true. Liev barely regained his composure and asked, 

“So, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep me confined in your private residence and pretend to be a dragon that has kidnapped a hostage?” 

As Liev frowned and raised his head, Renard unexpectedly replied with a confident voice, 

“No, I’ve prepared something better than that!” 

Then he took something out of his sleeve and held it out in front of Liev. It was a note written in messy writing using a quill pen.

[Things to do when you meet Liev] 

[1. Look down from the top of Luchrech Mountain]. 

[2. Go see Lake Paehton] 

[3. Eat cake at the White Hat Bakery]. 

[4. See the sparkling sand on Welwyn Beach]. 

“…….”

No matter how Liev looked at it, the list seemed more like an ordinary bucket list than something meant to torment him. With an incredulous expression, he alternated his gaze between the note and Renard.

“Are you serious? Do you think such things would torment me?” 

Is this really an issue of intelligence? Did he suffer such a shock when I left him that it affected his brain? As Liev stared at Renard with a worried expression, Renard replied without backing down.

“Yes. You said you hated being with me so much that it was horrible. Then anything we do together would be torment for you.”

Renard’s attitude was so logical and confident that Liev was confused, wondering if he was the one who had misunderstood something. Then Renard drove home his point with another statement.

“So, from now on, I’ll keep tormenting you again and again to make Liev tell the truth.” 

At that moment, as if something had pierced deep into his heart, Liev’s face flushed. Liev tried to control his trembling voice and spoke back. 

“What nonsense are you talking about? What truth do I have to show? This is not tormenting at all.”

Before Liev could finish his sentence, Renard interjected. As if he wouldn’t even give a liar a chance to make excuses. 

“No? It must be tormenting. You keep lying to me.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t you remember what I said? I know everything about what Liev is thinking. Whether you’re sad, happy, lying, or telling the truth.” 

That was true. Renard had often complained about how he could “smell lies” from Liev, and he had an uncanny knack for guessing Liev’s true feelings every time. Liev had always thought Renard was just stubbornly guessing, but… was it real?

A sudden, chilling possibility gripped Liev’s heart. No, it can’t be. If that were true, Renard wouldn’t have let him go so easily back then. Desperately trying to deny it, Liev asked,

“Then… why didn’t you follow me that day?”

If he had known that all the barbed words he spat out to hurt him were lies, maybe he wouldn’t have given up so easily. Why? Unable to suppress his confusing emotions, Renard opened his mouth in response to Liev’s question. 

“Because you didn’t want me to follow. So I waited patiently. I waited and waited, but you never came, so I came looking for you. And now, all you do is lie to me…”

As he looked down again with a very resentful expression, Liev felt a deep discomfort in his bones and wanted to escape somewhere. 

As he looked down again with a resentful expression, Liev felt an itch deep in his bones, a desperate urge to escape. But where could he go? There was no place in this world where he could evade the gaze of the being closest to a god, soaring freely through the vast sky. Even if such a place existed, Liev, in his current state, could never hide.

He felt embarrassed, as if covered in hives. Everything he thought he had successfully avoided until now, and the fact that his true feelings were exposed. He waited because Liev didn’t want Renard to follow him, and he came out to find him. His mind was blank, unsure how to process this. Despite living a long time as both Suhyuk and Liev, he had never experienced anything like this.

“I, I…” 

I also didn’t want to part with you either. If only I had the ability to protect you, I would never have left you alone there. But those words had already turned into old scars, wounds that had long since been buried. Yet, here Renard was, stirring up those buried feelings, making Liev feel both resentful and greedy.

I also wanted to be by your side. Just like your other great colleagues, I wanted to be a part of the team that could help you. Liev wanted to say this but barely held back his breath.

“I don’t know! Because you keep saying strange things, I don’t know what to say.” 

All he could do was lash out. Why are you shaking me up when I’ve just managed to get my emotions in check? The more I stay with you, the more I realize there’s nothing I can do for you. Am I just supposed to stand by and watch as you do all these amazing things that I can’t do? He didn’t expect an answer, but Renard smiled, just like he did ten years ago, and replied,

“Then just be honest. Say, I like Renard.”

Such a ridiculous confession was something he had never heard in his entire life.