TEB Ch 40

It was a confession so direct that it took my breath away. Embarrassed by the shocking words, I tried to avoid him. Liev quickly shook off Renard and ran away, calling to a passing coachman and hopping onto the carriage. If Renard wanted to, he could have easily caught up, but for some reason, he didn’t immediately follow.

Even as Liev rushed into the mansion’s bedroom, Renard did not follow. Why? Was he intentionally giving him time? He was anxious. He stood trembling in front of the door, but even after a long time, he didn’t hear Renard approaching. For some reason, the steward was quiet and didn’t say anything, so nothing happened until daybreak.

The next morning, Liev, who must have fallen asleep at some point, came to his senses from sitting on the bed with only his buttocks on it and opened the door with great nervousness. The hallway outside was filled with flowers of the same type as those in the study, piled up like a flower graveyard. Among them, there was a round empty space. It was clear that someone had been sitting there.

“Why were you here?” 

Unable to understand why someone would sit here like this instead of just entering, Liev was dumbfounded and speechless. If you sit down like this, you can probably hear the sounds from inside the room. Although his mind was complicated, his heart became calmer and calmer. 

“……”

During the time when Suhyuk worked at a private hospital, it wasn’t only bad guardians who came to the hospital where he worked for his salary. There were also kind people, sometimes so kind they were foolish. Like people who took in dogs with not much time left to live until their last days, welcoming them into their family. They understood they were doing good deeds, but there were also things that would bring nothing but losses. 

“He’s about to die anyway, and it’s not even your own kid you raised. Why do you go through all the trouble, spending time, effort, and money?” Whenever Suhyuk and others were questioned, the answers that came back were somewhat similar. 

“It’s because I just can’t look away.” 

Not because they were exceptionally kind or overflowing with money, but simply because they couldn’t turn away from what they could see with their own eyes. Liev couldn’t leave the child, who had no one else to protect them. Even if the time comes for us to part ways someday, the moments of happiness the child experienced because of me, or the moments I experienced happiness because of the child, were not meaningless.

“……”

Suhyuk had also experienced a similar situation before, but the ending was always miserable. 

For Suhyuk, home had been a place to escape from, not a place to rest, since he was very young. He was always left out among his friends because he did not receive even a small amount of pocket money. When he did receive a small amount of money, he had no memories of once enjoying snacks to his heart’s content. 

Then one day, an old man selling baby chicks in front of the school handed Suhyuk an unsold chick at the last minute and took him home. Suhyuk’s father locked the chick on the veranda and prevented him from taking care of it because it was noisy. The chick, who spent the night on the cold tile floor, was eventually found dead the next day. 

Young Suhyuk couldn’t understand such a thing. He had no choice other than to run away from home as soon as he became old enough, making promises to himself that he would leave as soon as he could. 

It was after Suhyuk was accepted into college that he left home. The tuition fee was lowered several levels so he could receive a scholarship, and an old goshiwon^[1] that was decades old, located quite far from the school, became Suhyuk’s cramped sanctuary. Even that seemed better than the “home,” where it felt like his very existence was a mistake. 

Suhyuk, on his way back from his part-time job, ended up picking up a kitten that seemed like it would die if left alone. 

“I can’t let it live like this.” 

The cat, who was quickly taken to the hospital, was in a state where it wouldn’t be strange if it died immediately. His stomach was thin, and his eyes were full of pus because they couldn’t open properly. Still, he wanted to try to save the cat, so he paid the treatment fee demanded by the hospital out of next month’s living expenses and with powdered milk, food, and cat litter, but the cat died within a week. 

I should have just left it. Living expenses were already tight, and what remained was a sense of emptiness and helplessness. Ultimately, realizing how helpless he was, it became a reason for him to only dream of the animal Suhyuk wanted to be with and a realization for him to never bring home another animal again. 

The reason why Liev, who had vowed not to have a third chance, willingly took on the task of taking care of Renard was simply because it was a job with a definite end in mind. His role was only to help Renard escape. That was the end of it. He had mistakenly thought that by setting an end from the beginning, he could face the moment of separation calmly. But, as with everything, letting go of someone like family is not something that goes as planned. He kept getting too greedy. 

“……”

It was only then that Suhyuk could understand. He could now empathize with those he had thought foolish, even knowing they would be hurt again in the end. His heart was already stolen, and the moments together, despite the pain, were not meaningless.

“……”

Even if the time came to say goodbye to Renard again, he couldn’t push away his current affection. He couldn’t bear the thought of someone else becoming Renard’s most precious person or knowing him better. Even knowing it would be painful, he couldn’t bring himself to give up.

As Liev continued down the corridor, he heard something dull hitting fabric. It was probably the sound of Renard’s tail brushing against the hem of his long robe.

Why are you hiding over there? In his obvious presence, Liev stood up and headed towards the source of the sound.

“I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do.”

However, the hero’s party had already finished their adventure. There would be no need for the adventurers to embark on a long journey again, at least for a while, as Renard’s presence alone would deter neighboring countries from making threats. It was okay to accompany them for a short time. As mentioned before, dragons are capricious and fickle; he might tire of me at some point. Until then, it’s just a little more indulgence. Liev finally made up his mind and called out to Renard from across the hallway.

“Renard.” 

“……!” 

Renard, who was probably trying to hide his presence as much as possible, held his breath until Liev came closer. At Liev’s call, he jumped up like a startled cat, his eyes wide and round.

“Huh…!?”

All his dignity vanished, and he sat there with a foolish look on his face. Despite resembling a guardian dragon, he still showed childish traits. Considering the near-eternal lifespan of dragons, this one seemed as if he was born just yesterday, still looking like a child.

“Let’s go, let’s see the lake. I don’t want to climb a mountain. It’s cold.” 

Once the weather improves, the mountains won’t be so bad, but for now, without enough layers, it was quite chilly. The lake, under the direct sunlight, would be warm all day. After thinking for a while, Liev suggested this, and Renard smiled brightly and answered.

“Yes!”

Then, as if he had been waiting for a long time, he hugged Liev with his large arms.

Tired of suffering alone about the uncertain future, Liev decided he didn’t want to push away from this warm embrace or endure the hardship of lying to reject it, even if the day to part ways comes again.