TEB Ch 57

From the white bread topped with expensive cheese to luxurious appetizers with pickled fish roe, the dishes continued to be served on the table until late into the night for those who had just woken up.  

“For the first time in a long time, he asked the palace chefs to show off their skills. I hope you enjoy it.”  

The atmosphere was warm and cozy as they looked at him. But for Liev, it was a mix of confusion over other important things. Who changed his clothes? Where did Renard go? He didn’t want to touch anything until he found out. Before starting the meal, Liev asked,

“Excuse me, may I know where Renard is?”  

I thought he would stick by my side and watch me until I fell asleep. But I was startled to find an empty space next to me when I woke up. I was surprised that he, who wasn’t the type to, would leave me alone. It was more of a problem that he was trying too hard not to leave. I cautiously asked if something urgent had come up. The steward immediately answered,  

“Ah, I heard that the commander of the White Eagle Knights suddenly called for his members. There seems to be something urgent to discuss.”  

“Did you not receive any details?”  

“Yes, I’m not directly involved with the knights, so I’m sorry I can’t be of much help.”  

Seeing the apologetic expression of someone who felt bad for not being helpful, even after preparing a feast for a pathetic person who fainted after doing something embarrassing, made my heart ache. Liev quickly waved his hand.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll ask him myself when they return later. It’s not like they’re leaving right away, is it?”

If he’s going to be gone for another week… I couldn’t even imagine how awkward it would be to see him again after parting ways, his face felt hot. Of course, I still didn’t know how to face Renard, but if that’s how it was going to be, it would be even more painful to see him. When I asked out of concern, the steward shook his head.  

“If that were the case, the other members would be preparing their gear for the expedition, so you’d probably get a notice. They’ll stop by here before they leave as well. So for now, please have your meal. The food is getting cold.”

Ah. Liev finally realized that he had been preoccupied with thinking about other things and hadn’t fully appreciated the table that had been carefully prepared for him by several people. Either way, it would probably be best not to ignore the effort that was right in front of him.  

As Liev slowly began eating with his utensils, the elderly steward watched him with a pleased expression, as if he were his own son.  

It’s uncomfortable… 

Liev had never been fond of dining with others in the first place. He had a strong preference for eating alone. If he had to share a table with someone, it would be a cat in front of the school cafeteria. He didn’t like eating with others, but it was even more uncomfortable to have someone watching him eat.  

Let’s eat quickly and go back upstairs. That way, they can finish their work and take a break too. Liev forced himself to eat a little faster to not betray the effort that had been put into preparing the meal. There were more dishes than usual, and they were all so rich and even had dessert, making him feel bloated.  

Maybe it would have been easier if I just ate alone. I’m grateful for the kindness, but for some reason, he felt like he was wearing clothes that didn’t fit him. And it was true. There were all privileges that would be taken away from me if Renard lost interest in him. He wasn’t used to this, and he would never get used to it, but it made him feel uncomfortable. Right now, all Liev wanted was to see the person who had put him in this mess.  

But what would happen if they did meet? As soon as he returned to his bedroom after the meal, a familiar voice in his head asked him. They should talk it out. This kind of thing can’t happen again. Renard would definitely refuse, and he would ask him why it had to be like this. Why? Because I don’t like it. But did he have the right to say that when he had even shaken his own waist in that situation? The more he thought about it, the hotter his face got.  

Moreover, it was also a problem of what to do with a guy who already knew his desires. Would it be effective to tell him to do it alone when he was already used to gaining pleasure by using someone else’s body? It might have been better to suggest doing it with someone else, as there were plenty of people who would want to become the real dragon’s companion other than himself.  

“……”  

At that moment, Liev was overwhelmed with an indescribable feeling of discomfort. However, he didn’t want to imagine Renard being affectionate with anyone else. The thought of him having intense physical contact with someone else was even more dreadful. As Renard was the most important person to him, he couldn’t bear the thought of someone else becoming more precious than him. He had already let go of the idea of releasing him or never seeing him again, but now he couldn’t help feeling petty jealousy.  

At first, Liev thought that their relationship had truly ended at that time. However, now that they had reconciled and were living the same daily life as they did ten years ago, things were different. If someone were to cling to Renard and claim to be his partner, Liev couldn’t bear to just stand by and watch. He didn’t have the heart to let it go. But he also didn’t want someone else to take his place while he had no intention of playing along with Renard’s desires. But he couldn’t help it, no matter how unreasonable it seemed, he couldn’t do anything about it. After all, the human heart is not inherently rational.  

“…….”  

So, what should he do now? The voice in Liev’s head asked again. What can he do? We can’t keep up with that kind of behavior anymore. It was only natural for him to declare that they wouldn’t sleep in the same bed anymore. But as he made up his mind, he became even more distressed.  

According to the knowledge he gained after Liev entered the novel, dragons who were used to taking on the form of different species since they were young had a similar growth rate to that of their adult form. Although the dragon’s physical body itself continued to grow and did not have the concept of growth ending, it was said that their ability to reproduce followed the growth rate of the species they imitated. As Renard took on the form of a human, it was only natural for his sexual desires to be at their peak at the age of twenty. Even if it didn’t lead to the conception and birth of a new individual, it was the time when their interest and desire in sexual activities were at their highest, known as the breeding season.  

During this period, dragons showed an aggressive nature mixed with a desire for destruction, possessiveness, and sexual desire. It was obvious from the fact that his lower abdomen was hot. Ultimately, it meant that if his fundamental desire for reproduction was not resolved, he could not control his aggression and could potentially cause problems.  

“Damn.”  

After realizing this, it became even more clear. If someone needed to help fulfill Renard’s desires, it had to be himself. He couldn’t bear the thought of someone else taking on that role. It seemed unbearable to have someone else touch Renard in that way. But at the same time, he was confused about whether it was okay for him to have such feelings of arousal towards Renard and whether he could accept himself for engaging in such actions.  

“I…I” 

I… I never wanted to have that kind of relationship with Renard. Even if he wasn’t my own flesh and blood, he was someone I cherished more than a sibling. No one with a normal mindset would want to do such things with someone they raised like a pet. But the problem was that Renard existed on the boundary between human and non-human. He displayed intelligence, cognitive abilities, and social behavior beyond that of humans, yet his values, biology, lifespan, and strength were far too different from those of humanity.

“Shit.” Liev muttered a curse to himself.